All posts in Self Awareness

Surrendering Your Story

surrender1I think one of the most powerful things we can do to create change in our lives is to give up ‘our story’. By this , I mean to let go of parameters and limiting beliefs that we have brought from previous experience into present day. When we do this, we allow ourselves to fully embrace all the opportunities and our highest potential in the here and now. Continue Reading →

The Power of Self-Compassion

images-1Self- compassion is always an interesting and well deliberated topic in my therapy room- and it comes up ,with most clients, at least once across the sessions that I see them for. Central to the Buddhist tradition of non-duality, its often embodied in the form of a lotus flower ; a reminder of the path towards peace and unity that lies within us all. This path, of course has proven itself over and over again to be elusive even for the best of us – yet I can promise with a bit of self-work and the right tools, that you too can find a place within yourself where things just sit right – where stress falls away easily and you find yourself bouncing back from challenges with grace – where real vitality, happiness and a sense of pride runs through all the tasks and roles you take on in your life.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha Continue Reading →

The Neuro-chemistry of Positive Conversations

LightbulbThink about the last time you had a really good conversation with a friend. How did this conversation make you feel? What thoughts did you have while you were having it and what emotions did you leave the conversation feeling?  Now think about the last time you had a negative conversation- (perhaps with your boss for example)  – what thoughts and feelings did you experience then both during and after this conversation?

Chances are that during the ‘good’ conversation, you would have felt anything ranging from positive about yourself and the relationship, optimistic, uplifted, motivated, energised, supported and cared for. The negative conversation on the hand might have left you feeling negative about yourself and the relationship, threatened, disoriented, anxious, fearful, misunderstood, lethargic and less motivated. Continue Reading →

Space To Be You – why it’s important in the longterm to make sure you’re giving yourself the time and space you need amidst all of life’s demands.

1This article is about coming back to you. In the age that we live in, filled with the constant distraction of emails, messages and the media ,on top of the existing demands of our ever expanding roles on the professional and personal front – it is easy for us to forget to make time for ourselves. We live in a time where so many things ( and all at the same moment) are possible – you can be watching the news on your new flatscreen tv, while looking at your Facebook feed on you computer and responding to an incoming msg from a friend on whatsapp all at the same time.  Infact, for many of us, I would say this kind of multi-tasking when it comes to technological inter-facing , is not uncommon. On top of this – we have jobs , side-businesses or projects to manage , multiple hobbies, sprawling social networks, family relationships and both personal and professional events to constantly juggle. Thats a lot and certainly enough to make it difficult to prioritise personal space. Continue Reading →

Self-Sabotage – Are You Getting in the Way of Your Own Happiness and Success?

Internal-Conflict-Quantum-Parts-Integration It’s not uncommon in therapy for me to work with clients who desperately want to achieve a personal goal – such as to be in a fulfilling relationship, save more money, lose weight, or find a dream job – yet somehow find themselves engaging in behaviours and beliefs which indirectly or even actively prevent them from manifesting these dreams. Perhaps you can relate to this and also have something in your life which you have been wanting to achieve for some time now, but for some reason , have been struggling to find success with. At the heart of this , could be an unconscious process, which is pulling you away from taking constructive action and instead pushing you towards engaging in behaviours that reinforce the very situation you dislike or even fear. Continue Reading →

Talking to Our Emotive Brain

 A lot of the work that we do as therapists involves helping clients to become more comfortable with and aware of their ‘less-than-comfortable’ emotions – and indeed some of my articles before this one have addressed the importance of learning to become more open to negative feelings, instead of responding reflexively and shying away from them. In his article on “Unraveling Emotional Triggers”, George Altman examines what happens to us on a brain level when we have a negative emotional reaction and proposes some practical ways in which we can begin to create greater awareness and use language to speak and soothe our emotive brain in these moments. Continue Reading →

Embracing Vulnerability

In line with my last article on “Hugging the Chaos”,  where I explore the potential for self-growth that lies in learning to stay with and re-story our past anxieties , is Brene Brown’s increasingly popular suggestion that there is much personal power to be found in embracing our vulnerability. In her TED talk on “The Power of Vulnerability” , she takes a look at this counter-intuitive, and yet vital approach we can take towards our own vulnerability, or parts of us which we have felt we need to keep hidden from the world. Continue Reading →

Hugging the Chaos

In his article, “Hugging the Chaos” content marketing strategist, author and speaker Robert Rose addresses the inherent contradiction, and yet importance, of learning to approach and embrace that which we feel fearful or uncomfortable with. In the face of chaos, he describes how story-telling can be a powerful tool which emerges to create a new experience. Applied to a marketing context, he discusses how his grandfather’s words  ‘when you create a new experience for someone, you get to experience it – and in turn it creates new opportunity for you’ have become integral to his concept of story-telling in marketing , and in particular , creating stories and new experiences for clients. Continue Reading →

Closing Cycles

Transitions are a common and integral part of life, yet also known to bring up resistance and often anxiety or fear for many of us. Faced with the end of one chapter, perhaps a job , relationship or even home or country of residence , and the beginning of another, how do we learn to navigate this space with greater ease and more comfort even when entering into that which is new and unfamiliar? And while embracing the new, how do we also learn to bring closure and say goodbye to what has past in a way that feels right for us and fitting for the context? In his article on “Closing Cycles” Paulo Coelho addresses the importance of becoming more attuned to when certain phases in our lives are coming to an end and another is beginning. He explores the importance of letting go of the old so that we can create space in our lives to allow the new in. Continue Reading →